


Through New Eyes

by AlexTheShipper



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Arc Reactor Angst, Civil War Team Iron Man, Gen, Guilt, Magic, Memories, Tony Stark Has Issues, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Tony Stark-centric, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-25
Updated: 2019-03-25
Packaged: 2019-12-07 15:21:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18236702
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlexTheShipper/pseuds/AlexTheShipper
Summary: When a blast of magic hits Tony Stark mid-battle the members of 'Team Cap' are forced to see their own actions through a different perspective.





	Through New Eyes

**Author's Note:**

> Posted on Tumblr ages ago, but tada.

# Through New Eyes

The battle is wrapping up, theirs been minimal property damage and no injured civilians, altogether not a bad fight for the Rogue Avengers first week back stateside. They just have to grab the dumbass with the cape, and top hat and they should be good to go. Tony's about to grab him when The Magicman lands a strange glowing blast square in the center of his chest, lightning arches through his body and then arches out connecting to each of the Rogue Avengers. Tony passes out instantly, and the other's eyes glaze over as they stand motionless long enough for The Magicman to escape. 

 

**Steve**

Steve sees Tony get hit, sees the electricity arching out toward him, he can't get his shield up in time, and suddenly he's shorter, and his chest feels like it's on fire. For a moment he thinks somehow the serum is gone, and his asthma is back, but then he looks up and see's himself, an ugly sneer on his face.

"Genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist." The words leave his lips without him intending to speak, and the burning in his chest worsens as he pulls himself up to his full height. 

"I know men with none of that worth ten of you." Steve watches himself speak, watches the sharp look in his eyes, and he feels hurt, offended. 'I told you' A voice harsh and familiar echoes in his mind. 'This is worthless Anthony. You're worthless.' Howard's voice echoes in his mind but he can still see himself standing in front of Tony and looking at him like he's worth nothing. There's a harshness in his voice and his face that Steve had never considered himself capable. 

The world blurs. 

"We're glad you're okay" He hears himself say, and the harshness has disappeared from his face as he dusts the dirt off of Tony. The nuke is gone, the world is saved and everything hurts so damn badly Steve feels like he can't breathe, but he feels his lips pull up into a smile, a single thought in his head. 'Not so worthless after all, huh Cap?' There's no malice in that thought, just hope. Steve smiles at him, and Tony feels hope. 

The world blurs again.  

"We need you for team building." Steve watches himself, looks at the way he glares at Tony. There's exhaustion he can feel down to his bones. There's pain radiating from his chest, an ache that feels like a knife. There's no sympathy to be found though, just an angry scowl. 

"I have work to do." He feels Tony say, and his arm jerks up, gesturing to the monitor without his control. 'Let me rest.' Tony's thoughts plead, and Steve hates the man in front of him hates himself for what he's done. 

"I don't care." The Steve in front of him says, simple and matter of fact as rough hands shove Tony towards the door. The pain in his chest spikes but Tony forces himself not to react. Bully, Steve thinks, staring at himself. 

"Fine, fine. I'm coming, I'm coming." Tony says, his tone carefully projecting irritation as he tries to peel Steve's hands off of him. Now Steve can feel anxiety bubbling in his gut and threatening to overwhelm him. A desperate need for space, a need to not be touched. The hand doesn't let go, in fact Steve pushes harder, and Tony stumbles. 

The world blurs, and Steve hopes for another softer memory, but there isn't one just a flood of his fast demanding, manhandling, scolding, blaming, and yelling. He watches his face twist into a sneer, watches himself stare down his nose at a man desperately trying to help. Hears his own voice snarl, and demean. The whole time the memory of Howard Stark calls him worthless. 

In his entire life he had never seen a bigger bully than Steven Grant Rogers, Captain America. 

 

 

**Clint**

Clint blinks and finds himself doubled over with a burning sensation in his chest so bad he feels like he's going to throw up. A knock on the door and his body is forcing itself upright, somehow the pain get's worse, but he feels a smile stretch across his face as he watches himself walk in. A friendly greeting comes out of his mouth in Tony's voice, and Clint finds himself wondering what happened between them? Where did the friendly banter go?

The world blurs.

"Where's my new Sonic arrow?" He hears himself ask, and he knows that he'd yell at his kids if they ever spoke to anyone else so disrespectfully. The body he's in jolts in shock, and his heart rate picks up, each beat hurts like hell. 

"Don't sneak up on me like that." Tony says, and he can feel his chest burning, his heart pounding against what has to be the arc reactor. He watches himself snicker, remembers how funny he thought it was to make Tony jump, it doesn't feel so funny anymore. Clint feels indignant on Tony's behalf, but the fight isn't there, he can feel the false smile Tony plasters on his face. "Sorry, I'm trying to get the arrows to work." Tony explains, and then there's a million things Clint couldn't dream of understanding swimming through Clint's mind. He see's his arrows, alongside financial charts, helicarriers, and a thousand other schematics. It's barely been a moment and Clint is already overwhelmed.   

"Try harder asshole." He sees himself sneer, and it's so totally uncalled for. "I need them." He hadn't at all, he just thought it would be fun to shoot them in the practice range the next time Thor was making thunder. Tony blinks slowly, and starts reordering things in his head, nodding at him. 

 

"I'll get right on it." Tony's voice says, and Clint feels an overwhelming surge of anxiety. 'Pepper will be pissed if I don't complete the financial reports for Stark industries, and Fury threatened to shoot me if the helicarrier schematic doesn't get completed by Tuesday and it's nowhere close to done.' The panic is building and he looks up to find his own face staring back without a drop of sympathy. 'If I skip dinner tonight, and only sleep for one hour instead of two I can make up some time.'

The world blurs again.

The look of unsympathetic irritation becomes a familiar one, as does the urge to cuss himself out. The derisive comments and the constant sneer feature heavily in Tony's memories, and Clint feels so much anger with nowhere to direct it but at himself. There's so many memories of him being absolutely horrible. 

"Watch out for this one, he just might break your back."  He sees that too familiar sneer, sees the cruelty, and for the first time he feels something snap in Tony. Feels a realization hit. 'I don't deserve this.' Tony thinks, and finally Tony is crying out in indignity. 'Rhodey doesn't deserve this.' It doesn't surprise Clint at all that it's protectiveness that finally makes Tony stand up for himself, Tony seems to care about those around him far more than his own well being. 

After hours of seeing himself being horrible, of feeling every moment of surprised hurt acceptance, Clint doesn't care why he's just glad Tony realized he doesn't deserve this. Then the next memory starts and he feels Tony's relief at knowing that after everything they did the rogues are safe in Wakanda, safe and away from him. 

The world blurs again, and he feels Tony's fear, his panic at thought of them coming back. 

He sees himself standing alongside the others, remembers making the decision to be a united front against Tony. Feels the hollow anger that Tony felt upon their return, and then the resigned acceptance. 'You’re a hero Stark, and if you want to protect people this is what you have to deal with.’

“Welcome back.” He says, and he sounds like he means it, but Clint can feel that he doesn’t. Clint can feel him screaming leave me alone at the top of his lungs, feel the way his chest aches, and his fear wells up. 

“You better have something damn good for us to apologize for what you put us through.” Clint says, landing a hard slap on Tony’s back, the spike of pain from the arc is excruciating but Tony’s eyes don’t even water. Clint knows now that they’re the ones who should apologize, they always were. .

 

**Sam**

Sam had always thought of himself as an independent thinker, he was never one to take orders if those orders were wrong, he knew how to think for himself. Yet here he was in Tony Stark's body watching himself stand at Captain America's right hand side nodding along with whatever the man said like a goddamn bobble head. He say there and nodded while Steve berated a grown man for not dropping everything he was doing the moment Steve entered the room. 

"Hi." Tony greets, smiling brightly at him. "Sam Wilson right? I don't think we've had the pleasure you had my wings." Tony comments, and there's a wariness he can feel that he'd never seen in Tony. He can see himself about to reply, feels Tony's relief that the welding tools he's holding means he won't have to shake hands. 

"They're his wings." Steve cuts in tony harsh, and despite feeling a pang of hurt, and a desire to curl into himself he feels Tony stand tall. He sees himself do nothing. "He got them from the army." Steve takes a step forward and Tony holds his ground despite the desire to take a terrified step back. 

"Of course they are." Tony says, but they aren't Sam's. Tony invented them, they're government property, and both him and Sam know it. Sam doesn't correct Steve though, he had never even considered it. Instead he looks down his nose at Tony exactly the same as Steve. 

He never thought he was the type to stand by and watch someone else get bullied, and put down, but here he is watching a hundred timed he had done just that. Get's to feel every slightly hopeful look Tony ever shot his way, get's to feel the despair that sets in when Tony realizes he'll never be on Tony's side. He watches himself stand there and let Tony get treated like shits. He listens as he adds on with harsh little quips to support Steve's cruel comments. 

Somehow he had thought Tony deserved it. Worse it seemed Tony thought he deserved it too. He thought Sam was a good man, he thought Steve was a hero, and he thought that he was worthless. He had read Sam's file, trusted him enough to sign off on his usage of Redwing before they ever met, and he was desperate for that to not have been a mistake. 

 

 

**Natasha**

Natasha was shocked when she was suddenly looking at herself standing next to Pepper Potts, a mental version of The Black Widow file running through her mind. She'd always thought they'd surprised Tony, but he'd made her the moment he saw her, he'd read her file months before the mission even began. She'd never even realized he made her. Never realized how wrong she was about him. 

"Textbook Narcissism." Nick Fury says, quoting her report. She feels the flash of betrayal, and the resigned acceptance. She doesn't believe it anymore, she's been in his head ten minutes and she knows he's anything but a narcissist. He plays his role well though, better than she did. 

"Yeah." He agrees, and she's surprised to find he actually believes it. He always believes the worst of himself though, every time she thought she was keeping his ego in check, she was just kicking him when she was down, she realizes that now, but she still has to see it. 

She watches herself betray him dozens of times, realizes that he knew each time that it was coming, but he let is happen because he thought he deserved it. She sees every scornful look, and rude comment. 

 

"Ross is after you." He warns her, after yet another betrayal, despite everything she's done he seems to care about her, about all of them. He wants her to be safe. 

“I can take care of myself.” She won’t look at him, leaving a last sharp comment about his ego as she disappears. All this time as an Avenger she thought she was making up for the red in her ledger, but here she is hurting her own teammate for no reason.

 

**Wanda**

Wanda had always painted Tony as a villain in her mind, a cartoonish evil man pulling the strings and making everything go wrong in her life.

Here she is snarling threats, red magic twirling around her fingers as she places all of the blame at his feet.

“I’m sorry.” He says, and she remembers not believing him, but she can feel how much he means it. Feels the overwhelming regret he feels for every single weapon he ever built. Still he built them.

She watches a slideshow of scenes and every time she sees her own face she feels Tony’s guilt about her parents deaths, but all she sees is an evil woman doing cruel things to a terrified and exhausted person. She doesn’t see the hero she thought she was, but a villain both more cruel and less caring then she ever considered Tony to be. 

 

-

Steve comes to feeling a lot of things, shame, disappointment, and anger directed firmly at himself and Howard Stark. Just the thought of Howard Stark makes his blood boil. “If you weren’t already dead Stark.” He hisses bitterly and then blinks when he finds a knife pressed against his throat.

“Don’t threaten Tony.” Clint hisses, and Steve is taken aback to find Wanda red magic on her fingers staring him down. He’s at the end of a gun, held in Natasha’s perfectly manicured hand and Sam has put himself firmly between Tony and Steve.

“I won’t let you hurt him anymore.” Sam says. Steve swallows Clint’s knife digging slightly into his neck.

“I meant Howard.” Steve explains, and the weapons disappear almost immediately.

“Oh yeah, fuck that guy.” Clint says.

“What’s with the weapons?” Tony asks, his words slurring together from the hospital bed across the room.

“Just defending your honor.” Clint says, and Tony snorts a laugh at that.

“Good one bird brain, none of you ever defend my anything.” He giggles at himself, as if that's hilarious instead of depressingly true. “Where’s Pepper? Or Rhodey? Or Happy? You’re not supposed to be in my hospital room. You’re all dangerous.” He slips back out of consciousness unaware of the guilty looks on his teammates faces. 

Not too long later Pepper Potts is kicking them out of the room and telling them they won't be welcome back. 


End file.
